I do have a real job.... I swear...

Traditional Italian Sauce

2012-01-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

Cooperstown, NY

Tonight, I'm craving some traditional Scerra family home cooking. We actually have (thanks to the aunts), a Scerra Family Cookbook!! What a treasured gift this was.... Even though there are hardly any specific measurements.....

That's what Italian cooking is all about. Add garlic, taste. Add basil, taste. Add cheese, taste. Continue to season if necessary.

Life should be the same way.... Re-evaluate along the way. Add a little spice here and there as needed. Continue to re-assess.

Here are 3 ways to make Italian sauce. Enjoy and Mangia!!!!

Tomato Sauce (for Pasta Fasole)
serves approx 6 adults

2 16 oz cans crushed tomatoes (DeCecco)
small onion
oil
garlic (optional)
Parmesan cheese
basil
sugar
2 12 oz cans beans or peas

Saute onion and garlic in a little oil till lightly brown.
Add crushed tomatoes and 1 can water. Cook approximately 15 minutes. Flavor with parmesan cheese, basil, and a little sugar.

Add Great Northern Beans, OR white kidney beans (cappelinni beans), OR green peas, OR chickpeas (garbanzo beans/cecci beans).

Cook about 30 minutes.

Serve over elbow macaroni, small shells, or ditalini.

Freeze leftovers.

Sauce for Macaroni ("Pasta")

1 16 oz can crushed tomatoes (DeCecco)
1 16 oz can tomato puree
2 or 3 pork spare ribs
medium onion
garlic clove
oil

In a medium size sauce pan, saute onion in a little oil. Add garlic (be careful, garlic burns very easily). Add your pieces of pork and brown.

Add each can of your tomatoes plus 1 can of water. Cook over low heat.

The following can be added for flavor: 2 tsp sugar, grated Parmesan cheese, parley or fresh basil.

Marinara Sauce (or as Mama would call it, "Fast Sauce")

1 can whole tomatoes
1 small onion
1 garlic clove
oil

In a small saucepan, suate onion and garlic in a little oil. Cook slowly - make sure they do NOT burn.

In a medium size bowl, "squeeze" your tomatoes with your CLEAN hands.

Add squeezed tomatoes with their juice to saucepan. Add a little sugar, grated Parmesan cheese and fresh basil.

Cook over low/medium heat for 45 minutes.

This is Where I've Been

2012-01-25T05:26:00.003-07:00

Busy here.....

Thanks for bearing with me. Are they not the most beautiful women ever???

In the 4 short days they've been here already, I feel like I've learned and grown so much. Each one comes with different talents, hardships, life stories and PERSONALITY. They are so happy! So grateful! So motivated to succeed!

One comes from Palau, where the entire population of the island country is 20,000. Her coffee house is the only one on the island, and if her espresso machine breaks there is no one to fix it. Can you imagine? We would just run down the street to Bed Bath and Beyond and buy one for $500. She would need to import one from Guam, or Indonesia. Her business halted until it arrived.

We Americans certainly do take our conveniences for granted.

Others come from Kyrgyzstan. One woman is a farmer and veterinarian! You'd never guess who, because she's tiny. She wants to start the very first horseback riding club in the whole country. She had the novel idea of getting people to pay her to train them how to ride horses. To take them on trail rides. To teach people how to groom a horse. She would be the only "horse club", as she puts it, in her country. Imagine her excitement when we showed her an entire rack of brochures for tourists that offer the same exact services right here in Phoenix. When I told her that Western wear stores are everywhere here, and they sell clothing just for horseback riding, her eyes lit up like she'd won the lottery! What a moment. We're going shopping tonight, and I have a feeling she'll love the cowboy boot selection.

Another woman comes from Malaysia and provides post-natal care to women after giving birth. She helps them regain their strength, beauty, health and fitness through traditional Malay remedies. All natural teas, bath herbs, exercise, support.... I tried one of her teas and it was absolutely incredible. It was almost sweet with zero sweeteners. All natural plans and herbs. She has 4 children, the oldest being 18. I was absolutely stunned. She looks 18 herself, seriously! Whatever she is doing -- it's working!

These are just 3 examples of my 28 select women. The Phoenix Business Journal did a great job writing up a brief summary on my program. I'm thrilled with the attention and support these women are getting from the community - they deserve it! I am so blessed that this is my "job". It does not feel like work, and I guess that's the goal, right??

"What we are learning around the world is that if women are healthy and educated, their families will flourish. If women are free from violence, their families will flourish. If women have a chance to work and earn as full and equal partners in society, their families will flourish.

And when families flourish, communities and nations will flourish.

That is why every woman, every man, every child, every family, and every nation on our planet has a stake in the discussion that takes place here." - Hillary Rodham Clinton

30 sec reading: The Black Man

2012-01-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

by Paulo Coelho on January 19, 2012

We are at the restaurant of a German University. A red haired student, and undeniably German takes her tray and sits down at her table.

She then realizes she has forgotten her cutlery and gets up again to pick it up.

Coming back, she sees with astonishment that a black man, possibly sub-Saharian by his appearance, is sitting there and is eating from her tray.

Straight away, the young woman feels lost and stressed . But immediately changes her thought and presumes that the African is not familiar with European customs concerning private property and privacy.

She also takes into consideration that perhaps he does not have enough money to pay for his meal.

In any case, she decides to sit in front of the guy and to smile

at him in a friendly manner.

The African responds with another dazzling smile.

The German girl starts to help herself, –sharing the food with the black man with genuine pleasure and courtesy.

And thus, he took the salad, she ate the soup, both took their share of the stew, one took care of the yoghurt and the other of the piece of fruit.

All this peppered with numerous refined smiles – timid from the man and smoothly, encouraging and kind by the girl.
They eat up their lunch.

The German girl gets up to get a coffee.

And it is then that she discovers, on the table behind the black man, her coat placed on the back of a chair and her food tray untouched.

________________________

I dedicated this charming story – to all who are wary of immigrants and consider them as inferior individuals.
To all these people, who with the best of intentions, observe them condescendingly and with paternalism.
It would be better that we free ourselves of prejudices or we run the risk to make a fool of ourselves like the poor German who thought to be at the height of civilization whilst the African greatly educated, let her eat and share her meal and at the same time was thinking ; how mad these Europeans are.

Update 8:00 PM, Jan 19 2012
The original post in Spanish, published a few days ago in the most respected Spanish newspaper EL PAIS: El Negro , says that this is a true story. However, it is not. The story is based in a short movie, winner of Cannes Palme D’Or.

Horse Farm Beauty

2012-01-19T11:28:00.002-07:00

“I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed. I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live - that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.”
-Dan Millman

A few years ago I went on vacation....20 minutes from my house. It was amazing! It's great to appreciate the city you live in - appreciate the life you have. Many times I'll catch myself dreaming of trips I want to take, countries I haven't visited, things I want to do.... Without realizing that I'm not paying attention to what phenomenal opportunities are right in front of me.

So, I encourage you to pay attention to your life right now. Focus on what is great about it. Get out and enjoy what may have been overlooked in the past.

Hilarious!! And....Scary!

Celery butt

Gorgeous tack room. I wish photos could convey smells....The smell of old wood and leather. Divine.

He did NOT want a bath

Canned peaches, anyone?

Hello, beautiful soft nose

The Push and Pull of Emotion

2012-01-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

There are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark. Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their name pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless.

Sara Zarr

Sometimes words cannot describe emotions articulately. However, I feel like this quote captures mine.

I don't think anyone ever plans to feel this way - that's what is so startling. The person or the emotion comes out of nowhere....

Now...what to do with this feeling....

Cultural Faux Pas in New York City

2012-01-15T22:23:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love this article. I especially love the description they give of WHY New Yorkers have such an intense need and desire for personal space and privacy.

I grew up in New York state (Rochester) and we did not have the same intense fight for personal space, but I do understand it. I am a lover of privacy, a constant seeker of personal space and borderline anonymity.

Contradictory to the purpose of a blog, but even now, I'm sharing at will.

I love my fellow New Yorkers for the understanding of mutual respect. You do what you do. I'll do what I do. No judgements, no unnecessary conversation about it. Just do your thing.

What I don't love about New York is the lack of connection to a community in an emotional sense. I appreciate the 'raised by a village' way. I love feeling emotionally connected to people because they share where they came from, who they are now, what they hope for, dream about. Like, it's ok to high five or talk to a stranger's child without fear of being yelled at by an overprotective NY tiger mom. New Yorkers don't do emotional community. They just do their thing. I respect it - but couldn't be that way in my own life and be happy for long. I'd feel isolated and afraid of offending everyone' s little personal bubble.

Anyway... check out the article. Awesome tips for tourists and also maybe a few reality checks for my fellow busy New Yorkers! ;)

Burning Man 2011 - Oh The Places You'll Go

2012-01-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

Based on Dr. Seuss's final book before his death, this is a story about life's ups and downs, told by the people of Burning Man 2011. Probably the best and most interesting story tellers you'd ever find in one place! Enjoy!

Happy Girls are the Prettiest

2012-01-13T08:48:00.000-07:00

Audrey Hepburn had her priorities straight.

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."

In other news, I hear the east cost is blizzard'ing right now!!! Be safe and throw a snowball for me.

Lucerne, Switzerland. January 1, 2012.

I came to work today with no coat and I'm basking in the sunshine through my window.

Who knows where I'll live for the rest of my life. For now, I am so grateful that I don't live in the frozen tundra during the winter!

25 Things Every Woman Should Know

2012-01-12T09:59:00.000-07:00

Hilarious, witty, GENIUS list.

25 Things Every Woman Should Know

Two favorites, for example......

24. You’re spinning on a merry-go-round at no cost. It’s whirling around a star that has hitched a ride on a galaxy moving so fast in the universe you can’t even feel it. Whatever went wrong yesterday? You’ve already moved on.

25. If all else fails, live by these three rules: (1) Never trust a woman who shags married men. (2) Never make a deal with a guy who wears a white belt. (3) Never try to be “friends” when the affair is over. Not even the great Gatsby could make Daisy stay. After she slobbered over his shirts, it was pretty much finished.

Bad Parent?

2012-01-11T06:00:00.003-07:00

I'm either going to be a bad mom, or I have a twisted sense of humor.

Maybe it's funny because deep down inside I know this is something my dad would have (and probably still would) do to me!! ;) ha!

Happy Wednesday my loves.

*Sorry in advance for the #@$%& reference, but it seriously made me laugh out loud. I love the family lineups with the cat, dog, turtle, etc. Those are hilarious!

Be in love with your life.

2012-01-09T17:31:00.000-07:00

Be in love with your life. Every detail of it.

Jack Kerouac

I am! I am! Thank you for this reminder.

Even if you're not 22.....

2012-01-07T23:12:00.001-07:00

If you’re twenty-two, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to travel - as far and as widely as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find out how other people live and eat and cook. Learn from them- wherever you go.

~Anthony Bourdain

Excuses Are For Those Who Need Them

2012-01-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

(Source: foreverandend)

Instead of here we go again, how about here we come fresh, new, wonderful.

We all have opportunities, we just need to stop being scared or hiding behind excuses. Do something that scares you this month. Do something that you honestly don’t know if you will succeed or fail.

Luzerne. New Years Day.

New Years Resolutions or Not?

2012-01-01T23:30:00.001-07:00

Rockefeller Center, NYC

Here's how I feel about New Years Resolutions:

Enough already with the guilt-ridden, I'm-so-fat, I'm-so-lazy, I-must-fix-my-life New Years Resolutions. I'm over it!

There is nothing wrong with you. You're fine. Sure, pick goals. Do it. You're capable. But no more beating yourself up. The phrase is not 'have a guilty new year'.

Take a breath. See the good in yourself. If you must make a resolution, start with those that help you and others.

Because the biggest word in 'Happy New Year' should be HAPPY.

New Years Eve, Zurich

Snowballs and Sledding

2012-01-01T15:07:00.000-07:00

Actually, I learned that the Swiss call it 'sledging', but I still say sledding. Even if they look at me funny.

We headed out to Luzerne and Weggis (pronounced Vegas!) to do some sledging and snowball throwing! The drive was stunning. The people were friendly. The company was stellar.

We stopped in for a little warmth and a hot treat. Not that I could eat any...sad.

I never realized how extremely expensive Switzerland is. I'm talking $5 for a soda, $15 for a McDonalds combo meal, $20 minimum for a restaurant meal. Incredible!

What an amazing way to start 2012.

I feel peaceful, motivated, inspired and grateful. I am so very thankful that I was able to make this trip work. I'm grateful for my friends who have hosted us, driven us around, taken us sight seeing, fed us... I hope they come to Arizona someday soon so I can return the favor! May we all step into 2012 with hope and a renewed sense of generosity and gratitude!

Rain, Winston Churchill and....More Rain

2011-12-29T17:35:00.001-07:00

Big Ben and some speedy double decker buses

We spent the day at the Churchill Museum and Cabinet War rooms. Absolutely fascinating. My grandfather (Papa) was a paratrooper in the US Army during WWII. He was overseas for FOUR YEARS STRAIGHT. Yes, without coming home, without speaking to my grandmother on the telephone. I cannot imagine.

It was fascinating to see what Britain's viewpoint of the war was. To see where Winston Churchill spent his days when speaking to the American President, hunkering down in his "Cabinet War Rooms", which were essentially bomb bunkers underground.

It was fun to finally do the tourist thing here. I've been to London so many times, but never actually experienced the historical side.

We stayed until they 'dinged the bell' and pretty much kicked us out. It was so interesting, we didn't want to leave!

So, we left, and left at the most inopportune time. IT WAS POURING outside. So, we did what we could.

We ran.

This is the first shelter we could find!!! It took several cups of hot tea and a hot shower to warm this girl up!

Me and Melinda. Known this chica since Junior High. :) Happy we could experience Europe (finally) together.

Hello, London tube.

My rain soaked jeans, which does not fully show the freezing cold wetness ALL the way up my leg!

Costco in London

2011-12-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely trip to Windsor Castle to try and track down Prince Harry (no luck).... So we decided to try our luck at Costco in London instead! We were greeted by the usual books, bulk pots and pans, chocolates, mixed nuts and PRODUCE!

Last night's flight out of JFK was loooong. But totally do-able since they upgraded me! So happy about big seats and yummy food. I'm staying with my darling (Aussie) girlfriends at their London flat. They picked me up at 6:45am and we headed North to Windsor.

After a delicious (and surprisingly cheap) traditional English breakfast, we explored the fascinating and beautiful castle, shopped, and stopped by Marks and Spencer for some groceries.

We all wanted to cook dinner tonight and just relax (I'm still awake, going on 45 hours....), but cooking for 5 people meant a stop at Costco. I had no idea the store was also in the UK. I had my card with me, so we stopped in for salmon, brussel sprouts, chopped pumpkin, sweet potatoes, veggies and hummus (of course). We were surprised by how many similar items they carried, but also local favorites, especially in the food court! I still have no idea what Aberdeen Angus Cottage Pie is.... But I stuck with the pistachio gelato.

Heaven!

Ew. Ew. Ewi.

British candy everywhere! Cadbury Eggs, anyone? Put your orders in with me now! :)

Jacket Potatoes? Gelato? Aberdeen Angus Cottage Pie? No idea. We can always count on the hot dog combo.

Christmas Yoga

2011-12-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, Happy Family Time! I'm still in disbelief that Christmas came so fast... I'm grateful to be home in New York. I'm grateful that it started snowing today. I'm grateful for hot tea and real pizza.

Can't wait to celebrate with the people who I love most tomorrow.

Then it's off to London!

Enjoy your holiday my loves. Stay healthy, safe and relaxed!

Europe Monster

2011-12-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

So not 'anatomically correct'. But so amazing. I'm coming for you, Europeans!

It's hard to believe I'll be back in Europe in under a week.

I feel like it's my second home...and I haven't been home in quite a few years..... My whole life used to be spent here...

Lots to be grateful for. I'm mostly excited and grateful that I'll be seeing my parents. aunts, uncles, cousins etc in just a few days.

Thanks to my old life in aviation, I still have quite a few Marriott points racked up... :)

Christmas in Manhattan here we come!

Hopefully Times Square won't be a tourist mad house...But then again, I know better. This year I think I'm going to force the family to go ice skating at Rockefeller Center. Nothing better than seeing my pops slip and slide next to me on on the ice!

Happy Hanukkah. Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. whatever floats your boat. I'm just grateful and happy for the season. Family first. Always.

Any restaurant recommendations for breakfast near Times Square?

How to Eat a Pomegranate

2011-12-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

Do you love pomegranates but hate the red mess and juice they spray everywhere?

That's my dilemma - Every time I want to eat a pomegranate, which is daily, I end up with more juice on my walls and floor than in my bowl. It looks like I got homicidal in my kitchen. :/

Here is a simple solution. Eat on pom lovers!

My now-pink teak cutting board. oops.

Slice up your fruit. Fill a bowl with water and pluck off the seeds underwater. No spray!

The seeds fall right to the bottom and any pith floats to the top.

Done in under 2 minutes. Just pour off the water and the bitter white stuff.

And there you have it. Juicy, red pomegranate seeds. And my pretty copper strainer. I love copper in my kitchen!

Perfect breakfast.

When I Grow Up....

2011-12-16T23:51:00.003-07:00

Flagstaff 2011

"I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know that someday I want to live in a house filled with my books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren't covered with bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave the house I will be going to a job I love and I'll return to a person I love. So....that's the dream I'm working on." ~Amber Morley

This quote has been on my wall for the last 3 years. I hand wrote it on a piece of paper. I have no idea where I read it.... It just resonated with me. I try to absolutely live this every day.

Family, friends, travel, experiences, learning, love, happiness, trust, engagement, generosity, communication, loyalty.

these are the things i think matter most. sometimes i feel like i'm asking too much.

I cherish the loved ones who understand.

What are your 'love languages'?

Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

2011-12-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

via inspiration and chai

In a previous life I had patients. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth.

Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that, or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships (or the people they loved) the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away.

People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full-length book, titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed by the regrets of dying people. It may be ordered through bookstores worldwide or from Balboa Press.

Two Waves Colliding

2011-12-14T05:00:00.001-07:00

Have you ever met someone who's personality and your personality kinda do this when you're together?

I don't mean this negatively.

Each wave is like a big personality, but different than the other. When you're together, you create one gigantic force together. awesome.

I like these kind of people. People who just make me erupt in laughter, and make me feel confident. They're exciting and help you realize how to take advantage of an exciting life.

People who help me forget a crazy horrible day. People who appreciate that maybe I'm a little different than the rest of the pack, because they're like that too.

I love having these people in my life. I wish they'd stick around forever.

HOME for Christmas

2011-12-11T21:28:00.002-07:00

Finally just booked my plane tickets home to New York for the holidays. I'm so excited - I can barely contain it!!! Not only because I get to see my family - but that I'm headed to a LONG overdue trip to Europe post-Christmas with girlfriends.

Dec 22-26 in New York with my darling family
Dec 26-Jan 7 2012 (HOW is it 2012 already? Isn't it still 1999 when gas was $.99 a gallon??) London, Paris, Geneva, Zurich

I love that my mom posted on her facebook page that she could "finally start celebrating Christmas because her girls were coming home". What a woman.

And then she posted the least Christmasy picture possible. HAHA. I love my mama.

p.s. have you heard the Michael Buble Christmas album yet? It's amazing - and I'm not a Christmas music listener unless I'm home in New York with snow out my window. Check it out....

How Do You Write a Family Christmas Letter?

2011-12-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

My daddy-o is on the top row, second from left. What a DOLL.

A cousin of my father's (thank you, Robbie) just posted this holiday greeting to the family via facebook. Just another reason I love my big, Italian family. Family is forever.

This is a Holiday message to all those "cousins" who grew up away from the "core" family home town, whether you are in California or elsewhere. I am of the generation that grew up right here in Central New York State, and I was wondering if you all sometimes feel removed from the sentiments and memories that are often evoked here, on this Family Facebook page. No need for that, because there is something in our upbringing that always identifies each and every one of you, who you are "from", and generally what you are up to. In our family tradition you are held close at heart, especially during holidays and celebratory times. And so, on behalf of all the elders who have departed before us, please allow me to send heartfelt holiday greetings to ALL of you, from the oldest to the youngest. We may be geographically apart, but we are eternally connected at heart. I can imagine all those that have passed on, smiling on us with tears of joy, because we will always stay connected. Love from here in the American hometown—Herkimer, New York, to wherever on Earth you are. Please enjoy the Holiday season with your loved ones. We love them too!

My Papa and my Grandma Anne

Remember to show your family and friends every.single.day. that you love them. No excuses.

Christmas Breakfast

2011-12-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

via That Kind of Woman

Merry Christmas to me. Kale salad. Grapefruit. Green tea. and of course a Christmas ornament and some mistletoe. This is actually exactly what I ate... delicious.

jingle jingle.

Sleep, Dance, Listen, Happy

2011-12-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

i am seven million and twenty things

I want this.
I want to fall asleep on this.
I want to dance barefoot on this.
I want to stare at the ceiling listening to soft music sighing out my contentment on this.

Pearl Harbor Day - 70 Years Later

2011-12-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

Seventy years after a "date which will live in infamy". Dec. 7, 1941, when Japanese airplanes bombed the harbor and drew the United States into the war.

The pristine, white USS Arizona Memorial makes it hard for me to get a sense of the horror that day held for so many.

2,390 Americans killed, 1,178 wounded.

The original ship, sunken under the memorial

We honor you

We salute you

Pearl Harbor Day, today.

Just a Little Eskimo

2011-12-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

via picturecool

Not sure what else I could add to this adorable photo. Enjoy....

Healthy Pumpkin Waffles

2011-12-05T22:28:00.004-07:00

One of my favorite breakfast choices has always been waffles. Not just any waffle, but crispy waffles. I leave them cooking for about a minute too long... Just so they have that hard exterior with soft insides. I almost described it as 'moist', but I hate that word. Sorry - I just think it's gross.

So I found this recipe on the Skinnytaste blog. This chick is fantastic. You can never go wrong on her site.

Here is my interpretation of her recipe. I made waffles vs. pancakes, and I think I prob. used about 4 Tbsp of her Pumpkin Butter!! (oops)

Pumpkin Spice Pancakes with Pumpkin Butter
Servings: 4 • Serving Size: 2 pancakes w/ 2 tbsp pumpkin butter •
Calories: 254.3 • Fat: 3.4 g • Protein: 9.1 g • Carb: 51.6 g • Fiber: 3.0 g

1 cup whole wheat flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup pumpkin butter or canned pumpkin
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 cup 1% milk (I used almond milk)
3 large egg whites
2 tsp oil
1 tsp vanilla
butter flavor cooking spray
1/2 cup pumpkin butter for topping

Mix all dry ingredients in a bowl. Combine milk, egg whites and pumpkin butter or canned pumpkin in a bowl and mix until smooth. Combine wet ingredients with the dry and mix well with a spoon until there are no more dry spots. Don't over-mix.

Heat a large skillet on medium heat. Spray oil to lightly coat and pour 1/4 cup of pancake batter. When the pancake starts to bubble and the edges begin to set, flipthe pancakes. Repeat with the remainder of the batter. Top each serving with an additional 2 tbsp pumpkin butter. In addition you can top with maple syrup or agave syrup (extra calories, if you care!).

All pictures taken with my (sadly failing Canon point and shoot digital)

Melted Snowman Cookies

2011-12-05T08:04:00.002-07:00

Thank you, Megan of Crazy Domestic for this post! You are such a creative diva! :)

I saw a picture of these the other day on Allrecipes.com and thought it was such a cute idea, I had to try it. After googleing it, I found a good tutorial on Stacy's Sweet Shop. I modified a few things to make it more simple for me (less homemade more store bought). To see the original Melted Snowman Cookie, and meet the inventor herself, go check out Meaghan (great name) @ The Decorated Cookie!

Here's what I used:

•1 package Betty Crocker Sugar Cookie Mix
•10 large marshmallows
•Betty Crocker Cookie Icing (white and orange)
•Wilton Decorating Icing Tubes in Black, Red, Green, Blue and Pink

Here's what I did:

•Mix cookie mix according to directions, or prepare your favorite cut out sugar cookie recipe, then just grab a golf ball sized chunk and squish it down until it's about 1/4-1/2 inch thick. Do not worry about the shape or how lumpy it is, the more misshapen the better! Bake according to recipe directions.

•Once the cookies are cool, load them up with the cookie icing and spread it around with the back of a spoon, let some dribble over the edge for a "puddle" look.

•Spray a microwave safe plate with cooking spray, and place marshmallows on the plate. Set the microwave for 30 seconds, but watch the marshmallows as they cook. Stop the microwave as soon as the marshmallows start to get puffy, do not let them double in size.

•Spray your fingers with cooking spray or grease them up with shortening, and carefully pull the marshmallows off, by the base, and set them on top of the frosted cookies.

•Then just decorate as you'd like with the Wilton frosting, or your own homemade frosting! I was pleasantly surprised at how yummy the Betty Crocker cookie icing was!

Slipping into something a little more comfortable. Like fuzzy socks.

2011-12-03T05:18:00.000-07:00

Timothy Buckwalter via this isn't happiness

It's OK to have Friday nights like this once and a while.... Especially after a week like this past one!

I had the perfect girls night out for dinner. But after dinner, we were all tired! So we boxed up our food, had delicious frozen yogurt (with those delicious little popping boba sugarballs!! yummm) and drove home. At 9:30pm. i may have turned 85 years old overnight...

Cheers to staying IN and slipping into something a little more comfortable. Of course, I did also wear my big fuzzy socks to combat the freezing Arizona winter temperatures of....60 degrees. brr.

Hobbie Stuart on Repeat

2011-12-02T23:33:00.000-07:00

Doesn't hurt that he's a total English babe.

Am I a total weirdo? I have literally listened to this song 16 times in a row. I cannot get enough of his voice. Do you ever love a song so much you just listen to it over and over and over and over.......?

There's just something about the first few verses that get to me. to my soul.... 'i don't know what your love has done to me.... you changed my whole life....don't know what you're doin to me with your love...'

someday. someday i'll feel that for real.

Thai Coconut Curry Shrimp

2011-12-02T09:02:00.003-07:00

Here's another shrimp dish with the sweetness of coconut milk which compliments the spiciness of the red curry paste in this simple dish. Serve this over jasmine rice for a complete meal. If you've never used fish sauce before, don't let the smell fool you! It blends with the other flavors and really adds to this dish.

You of course can substitute the shrimp with chicken, tofu, veggies...anything, really!

Red Thai Coconut Curry Shrimp
post and photos via skinnytaste.com
Servings: 4 • Serving Size: 1/4th • Calories: 135
• Fat: 4.4 g • Protein: 18.5 g • Carb: 4.7 g • Fiber: 0.9 g

Ingredients:

1 tsp oil
4 scallions, whites and greens separated, chopped
1 tbsp Thai red curry paste
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined
6 oz light coconut milk
2 tsp fish sauce
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
salt to taste

Directions:
In a large nonstick skillet, heat oil on medium-high. Add scallion whites and red curry paste and sauté one minute. Add shrimp and garlic, season with salt and cook about 2-3 minutes. Add coconut milk, fish sauce and mix well. Simmer about 2-3 minutes, until shrimp is cooked through. Remove from heat, mix in scallion greens and cilantro. Serve over rice and enjoy!

Credit Card Genie - Uh Oh.....

2011-12-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

From: xxxx
Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 11:45 AM
To: Amy Scerra
Subject: AMEX

Hi Amy,

I upped your AMEX, but the site says it might take 3 days to see. I have seen it before take effect the same day though.

Thanks

From: Amy Scerra
Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 11:46 AM
To: xxxx
Subject: RE: AMEX

Thank you! What is the limit now?

From: xxxx

Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 11:47 AM
To: Amy Scerra
Subject: RE: AMEX

Unlimited.

oh boy.....

Why can't I have a personal credit card fairy like this?

Forget Not

2011-11-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

Forget not, to be compassionate and patient with yourself.

Forget not, the difference between a foolish sacrifice and a good sacrifice.

Forget not, to be happy now. The happiest people I know are not those who "find their golden ticket". It's those who discover and treasure the beauty of everyday moments. They weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder. These people are truly happy.

- Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Blueberry Rhubarb Deep Dish Pie - and the Down Low on Pie Crusts - What's Healthy, What's Not?

2011-11-28T09:45:00.001-07:00

This original recipe is not healthified.... But it looks so amazingly delicious! I think it would be simple to swap ingredients to make it more healthy. You can use whole wheat flour in place of the AP white flour. Stevia or agave syrup for the sugar. Fat-Free Half n Half for the heavy cream. Canola Oil for the butter.

Here's the down low on pie crusts:

Canola Oil
Nutrition information per tablespoon: 120 calories; 14 grams fat; 1 gram saturated fat

A different spin on pastry is to make it with oil. The texture is less flaky, but surprisingly tender, with a pleasant, gentle crunch. Oil also means the pastry will be high in heart-healthy fats, vegan and cholesterol free.

Vegetable Shortening
Nutrition information per tablespoon: 110 calories; 12 grams fat; 3 grams saturated fat

Shortening is flavorless, light, and famous for making dough super flaky and tender. It’s lower in saturated fat but traditionally very high in trans fats.

Butter
Nutrition information per tablespoon: 100 calories; 11 grams fat; 7grams saturated fat

Butter will give you a flaky and flavorful crust, but has the highest amount of saturated fat. Enjoy, but try to keep portions modest – especially if you’re watching your cholesterol.

The Price of Convenience
Packaged refrigerated and frozen pie crusts use trans fat-laden partially hydrogenated oils or lard. They are also expensive, costing $3.00-4.00 each on average.

Photos and recipe via Desserts for Breakfast

Blue-barb-berry Deep Dish Pie
makes three 4.5" deep dish pies

for pastry:
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
2/3 cups butter, cold
6-7 Tbsp ice cold water

for filling:
12 oz. rhubarb, chopped into small, 1/2" chunks
1 lb. blueberries
freshly grated zest of 1 orange
3 Tbsp orange juice
1/2 cup (100 gr) sugar
4 Tbsp corn starch
1 egg yolk
1 Tbsp heavy cream, and more for serving
turbinado sugar

1. Combine the flour and salt in a bowl.
2. Using a pastry cutter, cut the cold butter into the flour, until the size of small peas.
3. Gradually add the water, 1 Tbsp at a time until, when you press the dough between your fingers, it holds together. Do not overmix!
4. Wrap the dough in parchment paper or plastic wrap and chill for at least 1 hour.
5. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
6. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and roll it out, about 1/8" thick. Place dough into the pie plates (preferably springform), reserving the leftover dough for the lattice top. Keep the prepared dough cold.
7. To prepare the filling, combine the chopped rhubarb, blueberries, orange zest and juice, granulated sugar, and corn starch in a bowl.
8. Spoon the filling into the pie crusts. Top with cut strips of pastry.
9. Whisk together the egg yolk and 1 Tbsp of heavy cream. Brush the egg wash lightly over the lattice crust. Sprinkle generously with turbinado sugar.
10. Bake for 400 degrees F for about 45 minutes. If the tops start to get brown, around 30 minutes, place a layer of foil over the pies and continue to bake until the rhubarb is cooked through.
11. Remove and let cool. Serve with a splash of heavy cream.

At the Table, One Never Grows Old

2011-11-26T10:03:00.001-07:00

Sushi feast with friends. I love the atypical concept (unless it's a family style restaurant) of sharing at a restaurant in America.

I feel like the American eating culture is so solitary. We each order our own appetizer, entree and dessert. Is it because we don't want to share? Are we a society of dietary restrictions? I know I have my own restrictions.... Ordering something for myself makes life easier for all at the table. No butter, oil, fat.... it's a no gallbladder thing....

I love sushi dates. Ones that leaves so much room for sharing, talking about your food, interesting new flavors.

There's a quote I keep in my kitchen "A tavola non s'invecchia" meaning At the table, one never grows old. I love that. I take this to mean that the pleasures of good food and company are such that the passage of time is suspended.

Did your family raise you in a home that shared food? Talking around the table? Eating standing up in the kitchen while talking, cooking more, and laughing (ok, that's probably only my strange family...)?

Happy Thanksgiving to our Troops

2011-11-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

This photo makes me feel very grateful for family. For America. For my soft couch. For my pajamas. For my delicious table of Thanksgiving food.

It makes me feel very grateful for my military. For those who are deployed and away from their families...Celebrating Thanksgiving overseas. Sacrificing their holidays for me and you.

This is what the troops in the field eat..... Pre-Packaged turkey. hmm.

On patrol with his lovely meal....

This is just adorable. I love the hats :)

I am grateful for my family. For my friends. For everything I learn from every person I meet. I'm supposed to be on Lake Powell...but I'm not. And I learned a lot from that situation.... I am looking forward to a Tongan Thanksgiving tomorrow... I'll report back with everything I saw, ate and did!!! I'm certain it will be unique and interesting. Lots of love!

Old and New: Handsome Boys

2011-11-22T09:25:00.000-07:00

Old (er): This is my dad's cousin, Dick Cassella. Isn't he handsome? My dad and all the boys have always been such athletes. Jocks. The stories they would tell as I grew up, looking back, are hilarious. They were all so full of machismo and gruff. They haven't changed one bit.

This is my beautiful cousin Andrea's little boy, Ben. This picture cracks me up every time!

I love that she's introducing him to the New York apple orchards young! I miss living near family so much.

I hope you all have a relaxing and lovely Thanksgiving! What will you be doing? What dish will you be making?

I leave tomorrow for Lake Powell! J rented a houseboat for friends and family. I'm making a family favorite - grape salad. Here's the recipe. mmmm sweet and delicious!

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm grateful for all of you, both old and new friends. Say hello if you'd like. :)

Stunning Wedding Photos: Lauren Bush and David Lauren

2011-11-21T11:50:00.000-07:00

Another one of those "look of love" moments.....sigh.

This is one union where I support the bride not taking her husband's last name..... Lauren Lauren. Hmmm.

This Victorian modern wedding dress is absolutely stunning. How amazing that it's one of a kind, designed and made by her new father-in-law, Ralph Lauren. What a dynasty this new family is creating. Incredible.

They were married in Colorodo at the Lauren's Double RL Ranch

Romantic

Healthy Mashed Sweet Potatoes Brulee

2011-11-18T09:02:00.001-07:00

Yes, I said brulee. Mmmmm... Brulee for dinner is a win-win situation for me! Mashed sweet potatoes with a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg, topped with a caramelized brown sugar crust.

I can happily say this is the dish that finally turned me into a sweet potato fan. Previously I only enjoyed them as sweet potato fries, but I will certainly be making this again and again.

To prepare ahead, make the mashed sweet potatoes the day before, then re-heat them before topping with sugar and broiling. Once you broil them, you'll want to serve them right away. If you are bringing them to someone's house, don't add the brown sugar topping until you are ready to serve.

Mashed Sweet Potatoes Brulee
Adapted from Cooking Light

Skinnytaste.com

Servings: 14 • Size: 1/2 cup • Calories: 113.4 • Fat: 1.5 g • Protein: 2.2 g • Carb: 25.6 g • Fiber: 2.9 g • Sugar: 14.8 • Sodium: 141 mg

Ingredients:

5 1/2 lbs sweet potatoes, peeled and boiled until soft
3/4 cup 1% milk
3 tbsp light butter, softened
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 cup unpacked light brown sugar

Directions:

When the potatoes are cooked and soft, combine them with milk, light butter, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg and mash or puree until smooth.

Spoon into a 9 x 9 or 11 x 7-inch baking dish.

Preheat the broiler. Sprinkle 1/2 cup brown sugar evenly over top. Broil 2 minutes or until sugar melts, careful not to burn. Let it stand until the melted sugar hardens (about 5 minutes).

Makes 7 cups.

If I Could See My Future....

2011-11-16T09:55:00.001-07:00

This is what I'd want to look like:

I think beautiful 'things' are important. Lovely. Exciting. But how many life-long memories are created at the nail salon? Or while chatting with your hair dresser about the newest, gorgeous Louboutins and reality tv disasters?

not many.

been there. done it. and i need more than that.

Cookies ‘N Cream Oreo Fudge Brownies

2011-11-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

Cookies ‘N Cream Oreo Fudge Brownies

from Kevin and Amanda

Hellooooo, good lookin’! Bring these home for the holidays and you will be everyone's secret favorite. I always flounder when I need to bring holiday treats. What to bring?! How to choose?!

Cookies and cream ice cream, chocolate chips, and hot fudge… It all gets added to the brownie mix! Does it get any better than this?? :)

This thick batter is perfect for layering.. nothing is going to sink to the bottom here!

Oh, baby.
Come to mama.

Layering the Oreos whole is totally the way to go! The Oreo center stays soft and fudgy even after the brownies have cooled.

All these babies need is a big, huge scoop of vanilla ice cream.
I think I’ll get on that. ;)
______________________________

Cookies ‘N Cream Oreo Fudge Brownies
1 box Brownie Mix
eggs & oil (as called for by the brownie mix)
1 heaping half cup (6 oz) Cookies & Cream ice cream
1/4 Cup hot fudge topping (chilled or room temp)

Preheat oven & spray an 8×8 baking dish generously with cooking spray. Combine brownie mix, eggs, and oil as directed on the back of the box, but do not add the water.

Add ice cream and hot fudge to the brownie batter and stir to combine. Pour half of the brownie batter into the baking dish, layer with Oreos, then top with remaining batter. Bake for 40-50 minutes or as directed on the back of the box.

In the Cookies of Life, Sisters are the Chocolate Chips

2011-11-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

Saw this on Pinterest and it reminded me of something my sister and I would have done growing up. I love my little sissy.

She's an incredible woman, friend, girlfriend, daughter, and more. She's a mentor to so many people in her life, and I'm so grateful that we live in the same city (finally!).

She is my forever friend, she loves me no matter what, and she can't get rid of me!!! I love you Katrini Beanie!

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double. ~Toni Morrison

Yoga Breakdancing. In Awe.

2011-11-12T20:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard of such an amazing thing in your life? I surely haven't. I literally watched this video with my mouth open in awe the entire time. I wish I could do half these moves!

Awolnation playing in the background is pretty awesome too....

Break ton Neck from Alex Yde on Vimeo.

If Heaven Was a Sandwich

2011-11-11T18:29:00.000-07:00

Milton's Multi-Grain Bread. Lettuce, tomato, turkey bacon, egg, avocado. Hello, beautiful.

Enjoy your weekend. Hug the people you love. Not just hug them, but tell them you love them....

Healthy Apple Cobbler

2011-11-09T09:10:00.000-07:00

I am freezing!!! Today is a sweater, space heater, hot tea kind of day. I know what else could help me warm up...besides cuddling in bed all day.... These cute individual apple cobblers! Healthy and everything...

Mmmm. Warm cinnamon apples topped with a sweet golden cobbler crust. Top this with a spoon of whipped topping or frozen yogurt and you'll be in a state of apple bliss!

This was delicious and you'll never know it doesn't have all the butter most cobblers call for. You could make this in a pie dish, if you want to serve it for Thanksgiving, but I love the portion control you get for making them in ramekins. Those of you who prefer Splenda or Truvia, you could certainly swap it out for the agave in the apples.

Skinny Apple Cobbler

Skinnytaste.com

Servings: 6 • Size: 1 cobbler •Calories: 261.5 • Fat: 4.7 • Carbs: 56.9 • Fiber: 4.2 • Protein: 1.9 • Sugar: 39.6

Sodium: 168.1 g

For the Filling:

2 1/2 lbs Gala apples, peeled, cored and sliced 1/4" thick*
1/2 cup agave (or sugar)
2 tbsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
pinch of sea salt
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup water

For the Topping:

1/4 cup King Arthur white whole wheat flour
1/4 cup King Arthur all purpose flour
2 tbsp granulated sugar
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
2 tbsp chilled light butter, cut into small pieces
1/3 cup low-fat buttermilk
1 tbsp canola oil
1 tsp light brown sugar (unpacked)

In a large heavy pot, combine all of the apple filling ingredients and simmer on low heat for about 25 minutes, gently stirring occasionally until the apples are soft. Divide warm apples into 6 (8 oz) ramekins.

Preheat the oven to 400°. In a medium bowl, whisk flours, granulated sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Cut in chilled butter (must be cold) using a pastry cutter (or 2 knives) until pebble-sized pieces are formed.

In a small bowl combine buttermilk and oil; mix well. Add to the dry mixture and mixuntil just moistened, careful not to over-mix. Spoon the batter over the apples in the ramekins.

Sprinkle with brown sugar and bake 30 minutes, until apples are bubbling and the topping is golden. Let it stand 8 to 10 minutes before eating.

*weight of peeled apples 26.5 oz

One Pound of Fat Looks Like THAT?! Live Healthy, My Friends.

2011-11-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

Isn't this amazing? Saw this today on Pinterest and it's a great visual reminder that the scale is not the final word. Muscle weighs more than fat!

When you don't think you have the time to exercise, eat right, live healthy...Remember: like most things in life, big goals are accomplished through little goals.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Challenge yourself. Everyday, make the choice to exercise. Eat an apple with cinnamon instead of a candy bar.

It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Operation Demolish Comfort Zone. Success.

2011-11-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

Marc and Angel advise: “Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” One of the biggest reasons people get stuck in an idle state, instead of taking action to change their lives for the better, is simply that the process is uncomfortable. But to create positive changes in your life you have to step outside your comfort zone, at least for a little while.

Routines stagnate us. New experiences help us grow and they make life interesting. Make an effort to try something new every day this week. It can be a whole new activity or just a small experience, such as talking to a stranger. And once you get the ball rolling, many of these new experiences will open doors to life changing opportunities.

So, what should I try that's new? How about going to the Arizona State Fair to a monster truck show and RV Demolition Derby? Yes!!!

I fit right in

There was a monster firetruck looking thing that had seats/seatbelts in the bed of the truck. They were giving people a ride around the track, spinning us out, going over jumps etc. It.was.amazing. Going fast, but not fast enough to forget a feet/boot picture!! I actually lost my voice yesterday after screaming so much. Such a girl....

Somehow talked my way into sitting in one of the trucks. I think my pashmina and velvet leggings gave me away that I was a newbie at this stuff. I was the only one standing by the truck just staring like a moron with wide eyes. When no one was looking, he hoisted me up there. The driver probably felt sorry for me. If you're wondering, there are actually steps up into the drivers seat. They are just inside the false door there.... Learning new, important things everyday, aren't you? You're welcome.

This guy. My new hilarious friend.....

Drove this. HAHA. His law firm sponsors this RV Demolition Derby at the Arizona State Fair, and he actually drives the RV! They found the RV on Craigslist, painted it black and got their firm's logo on it, and crashed the heck out of it!! This pic is post-roof collapse, couch and oven falling out the back end.

I'd say Operation Derby was a success. What will you do today or this week that's new? With a strategy of continuous small steps into new experiences, we are able to sidestep the biggest barrier to positive change: Fear.

on the train of life, who are you to me?

2011-11-04T16:20:00.000-07:00

i like the visual this poem creates. i am grateful for the family and friends in my life who are with me throughout the whole journey.

i want to make sure that i'm giving back as much as i'm given. i've certainly been given much.

sad for some of the conversations that ended early. grateful that others ended!

i'm learning how to weed out the ones who are oblivious.

but with each chat, no matter how short or long, i learn something. i hope they feel likewise...

enjoy your weekend my loves

The New Lady Liberty?

2011-11-03T11:46:00.000-07:00

picturecool

Interesting thought proposed on Twitter yesterday. Is this the kind of woman who is successful in America? The new Lady Liberty?

It's a good question. The Kim Kardashians of the world are made famous through sex tapes and scandals. Porn stars are subjects of blockbuster films and are making their way into politics.

Helping women understand their worth, power, influence, and intelligence are my job. I work every day supporting women who are small business owners from emerging markets all over the world.

They stomp all over the notion that women need to use their bodies to get ahead. I'm grateful for such strong women in my life. It doesn't matter if they live in Pakistan, Indonesia, Tonga, Malaysia, Haiti, or down the street from me.

They have the same tenacity, gratitude, confidence, courage, and love for life. I learn far more from them, than they do from me!

"As an Afghan woman, I want to affirm that a woman is capable of holding a cradle in one hand and the world in the other."

Najiba Faiz
2010 Project Artemis Afghanistan graduate

Is Love Enough?

2011-11-02T16:08:00.002-07:00

I just read this beautiful poem at my friend Dana's blog, Wonder Forest.

I had all these things.... And it still didn't work. I don't understand when people say love is all you really need. Maybe it makes you feel good when you say it, but that's about as real as I think it is.... what do you say?

Love is knowing without speaking.

Love is comfort.

It is crying in loving arms when you just need to let it out.

It is sympathy when feeling down.

Love is non judgmental.

It is not caring about your flaws.
Love is raw.

Love is little moments.

Love is no makeup and sweatpants.
Love is sharing private moments.

It is sharing everything.

Love is sacrifice

and knowing it is ok to get angry.

It has special secrets and inside jokes.

It is being real. More than you've ever been real before.

Love is knowing that nobody is perfect, even you.

It is dancing obnoxiously around a living room.

Love is truth.

Love is letting loose.

Love doesn't care if your legs are perfectly shaved every day.

It doesn't care that your hair is a mess.

It is knowing you have a best friend until the end.

Love is a two way street.
Love is not perfect, but it is perfect for you.

It is unlike anything you've ever felt.

Completely crazy, unjustified love.

Beds, Pillows and a Mosquito Net

2011-11-01T07:31:00.001-07:00

pic:That Kind of Woman

I am absolutely loving this comforter, headboard and....what do you call that thing above? Mosquito net? Pretty princess gauzy thing? I don't know - but I love it.

I going to use this for inspiration when thinking of bedroom decor ideas. I'm feeling like my bedroom is blah. I want it to feel warm, comfortable, gauzy-mosquito-net-drapey.

So I can do THIS

ahhhh. Good Tuesday morning!!!

p.s. someone please tell me what the real name of the net thing is??

Kim Kardashian ALREADY Filing for Divorce

2011-10-31T12:16:00.001-07:00

This is all I have to say. I am so disgusted.

Image Credit: Todd Williamson/WireImage.com

Kim Kardashian had a fake legal marriage for a reality TV show, earned $17,900,900 from her wedding, and got divorced 72 days later. But it's the gays who are ruining the sanctity of marriage?

Insomnia? Jet lag? Loud Halloween hotel neighbors?

2011-10-30T05:13:00.000-07:00

I'm going to blame #3.

I'm currently sitting by the fireplace, in my Christmas socks, eating an apple, in my pyjamas, with a pashmina around my neck. Oh yah. In the lobby in my Portland hotel.

Hello everyone checking out! Don't mind me, the crazy girl typing away on her computer at 4:30am in her jammies. Wait, I'll even take a picture for you so you can be here too.

3:45am, and the raucous neighbors thought something was hilariously funny in the hallway, and of course, opening and shutting their lead-heavy door several times.

So I'm awake. Checking in to my flight. In the lobby.

I'll leave you with an inspirational thought from yesterday's closing session at our conference. Hannah Jones (who had the most amazing British accent and silky speaking voice ever), a VP at Nike spoke to us. She advised that we "Do one thing gloriously. We sometimes want to be good at everything, so we do a bunch of things in a mediocre way. This is not success. Take the time to be excellent in big, meaningful ways."

This actually makes me feel less pressure. I feel like I don't have to be superwoman. I need to be superwoman in a focused way, and to be glorious. love that.

Good morning!

People NOT Money. Learning from the brightest stars on a foggy Portland morning

2011-10-29T10:29:00.000-07:00

Good Morning foggy Portland! We were such dorks today walking from our hotel to the convention center. Ooohing and ahhhing that we could see our breath, and babbling about how it was SO COOL that we could barely see the buildings hidden in the fog!! HELLOOO, I grew up in New York, land of the grey. Arizona has definitely reshaped my perspective on weather. Maybe not a bad thing, since I was in awe over a little drizzle.

I'm at a convention full of MBA students, social innovators, presidents of non-profit organizations, educators, world travelers, movers & shakers looking to have net impact on this planet. I feel INSPIRED.

I just left a session where we heard from a panel of gentlemen who left Wall Street or Fortune 500 companies to start up/lead non-profits which are aiming to eliminate poverty through social innovation.

What does that mean?

1st speaker - CEO of Solar Aid, a company which provides solar light bulbs to impoverished African villages. He told us that kerosene lamps were the most harmful and expensive piece of "technology" ever introduced there. A family in Kenya will spend 15% of their annual income on kerosene ALONE to light their homes. It's dirty, polluting, and dangerous.

2nd speaker - CEO of One Laptop Per Child. Every single child in Uruguay has a laptop and internet access thanks to his group. Their goal is to get their solar powered laptops to every child. They brought the HULT Global Case Challenge their mission of distributing 100,000,000 laptops. ONE HUNDRED MILLION! That's insanely incredible. They are now re-focusing on America, and making sure American children have laptops too.

3rd speaker - President of Habitat for Humanity. He joined us via video stream. He recorded himself in his hotel room in New York on his iphone, put it on youtube for us, and we watched it (I am still in awe of technology sometimes). He told us how H4H will be building 500,000 homes this year. That's over 4x an increase from last year's 81,000 families served. How H4H is now the 6th largest home builder in the United States. That is incredible.

I love feeling surrounded by people who genuinely understand the value of money. It is a tool. Nothing more. Money does not buy happiness. These people are some of the smartest people in their fields, and they're working with and for the poorest people in the world. They are giving back and helping others. Could they be making bigger bucks on Wall Street? Yes, of course. Instead, they are putting their brains together, partnering for greater impact, and creating change to make our world a better place. Thank you for letting me learn from you.

Portland and Shoes

2011-10-28T07:52:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and at a work conference in Portland, Oregon. My poor friend Deb who I'm traveling with is putting up with my sneezing and sore throat!

Thankfully today, I woke up and felt slightly better. Trying to keep up my fluids intake, not overdo it, and take my vitamin C.

On to more positive things, I wanted to introduce you to my shoes. Hello, shoes.

I'm not wearing them to the conference today, because that would be, well.... Awesome, but not appropriate.

I AM wearing them for our final dinner tomorrow night, and I think I'll feel a little bit like I'm in the Wizard of Oz. Steve Madden does it right.

Women Helping Women - 2011 Athena Awards

2011-10-26T14:37:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling profoundly grateful for the people in my life whom I respect, love, cherish and appreciate. This means friends and family. Past loves, and the hope for future loves.

I am realizing as I grow older (not that I'm calling myself old here...sheesh!) that life is all about the people. I feel a strong need to nuture others. I always have. Not in the nurse/doctor/teacher kind of way.... But to help people who are the underdog. The people who cannot, or don't know how to stand up for themselves. The people that simply don't know how worthy and capable they are.

I attended the 24th annual Athena Awards Luncheon at the Arizona Biltmore Hotel today. The ceremony honored women in the Phoenix community who are giving back in a big way. The women chosen were CEO's to Program Coordinators; but the thing they had in common was their constant striving to help those around them.

In a video taped interview with a homeless woman helped by one of the Athena award nominees, she told us how she never felt judged, no matter how messed up her life was and how bad her past was. The particular woman who ran the outreach program was always right there listening to what the people needed, or simply what they wanted to talk about.

The conference concluded with the final 2011 Athena Award winner, Ms. Shelly Esque of the Intel Corporation. She challenged us to go out there and mentor another woman.

She drove home her point as she quoted Madeline Albright saying "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." -- OK then! I am motivated!

So, really what I'm saying is... I need to get on the ball and start giving back on a personal level. Not only what my job affords me to do.

Will you commit to doing the same? SHARING what you know and helping others realize what they're good at? What they're worth? Help them succeed?

I will. Join me.

100 Calorie Delicious Pizza IS possible

2011-10-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

It may sound so wrong, but it’s just so right: Cauliflower Crust Pizza. I found the recipe on Eat, Drink, Smile and am really excited to try it.

The entire crust is only 434 calories, which is just insane. Usually a single slice of pizza will cost you 400 calories alone. With this cauliflower version, one serving is just 109 calories. Crazy… Anyway, I have posted the recipe for you below. I’d love to hear what you think about it after giving it a try…

Cauliflower Crust Pizza

Recipe courtesy of Eat, Drink, Smile

Serves 2

Ingredients

1 cup cooked, riced cauliflower

1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

1 egg, beaten

1 teaspoon dried oregano

½ teaspoon crushed garlic

½ teaspoon garlic salt

olive oil (optional)

pizza sauce, shredded cheese and choice of your toppings*

Instructions

To "rice" the Cauliflower: Take 1 large head of fresh cauliflower, remove stems and leaves, and chop the florets into chunks. Add to food processor and pulse until it looks like grain. Do not over-do pulse or you will puree it. (If you don't have a food processor, you can grate the whole head with a cheese grater). Place the riced cauliflower into a microwave safe bowl and microwave for 8 minutes. There is no need to add water, as the natural moisture in the cauliflower is enough to cook itself. One large head should produce approximately 3 cups of riced cauliflower. The remainder can be used to make additional pizza crusts immediately, or can be stored in the refrigerator for up to one week.

To Make the Pizza Crust:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Spray a cookie sheet with non-stick cooking spray.

In a medium bowl, stir together 1 cup cauliflower, egg and mozzarella. Add oregano, crushed garlic and garlic salt, stir. Transfer to the cookie sheet, and using your hands, pat out into a 9" round. Optional: Brush olive oil over top of mixture to help with browning.

Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes.

Remove from oven.

To the crust, add sauce, toppings and cheese. Place under a broiler at high heat just until cheese is melted (approximately 3-4 minutes).

*Note: Toppings need to be precooked since you are only broiling for a few minutes.

For more tips on making this recipe, check out Eat, Drink, Smile.

Give this recipe a try and tell me what you think in the comments below!

Do you have a healthy pizza recipe? How do you satisfy your pizza cravings?

A Message To Women From A Man: You Are Not “Crazy”

2011-10-24T09:04:00.001-07:00

This article is a bit long, but it's so worth reading. I don't necessarily agree with it being a gender issue, but rather a power issue. Those who "gaslight" others are power hungry and manipulate you to fulfill that need.

"You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already!

Sound familiar?
If you’re a woman, it probably does.

Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said?

When someone says these things to you, it’s not an example of inconsiderate behavior. When your spouse shows up half an hour late to dinner without calling—that’s inconsiderate behavior. A remark intended to shut you down like, “Calm down, you’re overreacting,” after you just addressed someone else’s bad behavior, is emotional manipulation—pure and simple.

And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. This epidemic helps fuel the idea that women need only the slightest provocation to unleash their (crazy) emotions. It’s patently false and unfair.

I think it’s time to separate inconsiderate behavior from emotional manipulation and we need to use a word not found in our normal vocabulary.

I want to introduce a helpful term to identify these reactions: gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a term, often used by mental health professionals (I am not one), to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy.

The term comes from the 1944 MGM film, Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman. Bergman’s husband in the film, played by Charles Boyer, wants to get his hands on her jewelry. He realizes he can accomplish this by having her certified as insane and hauled off to a mental institution. To pull of this task, he intentionally sets the gaslights in their home to flicker off and on, and every time Bergman’s character reacts to it, he tells her she’s just seeing things. In this setting, a gaslighter is someone who presents false information to alter the victim’s perception of him or herself.

Today, when the term is referenced, it’s usually because the perpetrator says things like, “You’re so stupid” or “No one will ever want you,” to the victim. This is an intentional, pre-meditated form of gaslighting, much like the actions of Charles Boyer’s character in Gaslight, where he strategically plots to confuse Ingrid Bergman’s character into believing herself unhinged.

The form of gaslighting I’m addressing is not always pre-mediated or intentional, which makes it worse, because it means all of us, especially women, have dealt with it at one time or another.
Those who engage in gaslighting create a reaction—whether it’s anger, frustration, sadness—in the person they are dealing with. Then, when that person reacts, the gaslighter makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure by behaving as if their feelings aren’t rational or normal.

My friend Anna (all names changed to protect privacy) is married to a man who feels it necessary to make random and unprompted comments about her weight. Whenever she gets upset or frustrated with his insensitive comments, he responds in the same, defeating way, “You’re so sensitive. I’m just joking.”

My friend Abbie works for a man who finds a way, almost daily, to unnecessarily to unnecessarily shoot down her performance and her work product. Comments like, “Can’t you do something right?” or “Why did I hire you?” are regular occurrences for her. Her boss has no problem firing people (he does it regularly), so you wouldn’t know that based on these comments, Abbie has worked for him for six years. But every time she stands up for herself and says, “It doesn’t help me when you say these things,” she gets the same reaction: “Relax; you’re overreacting.”

Abbie thinks her boss is just being a jerk in these moments, but the truth is, he is making those comments to manipulate her into thinking her reactions are out of whack. And it’s exactly that kind manipulation that has left her feeling guilty about being sensitive, and as a result, she has not left her job.

But gaslighting can be as simple as someone smiling and saying something like, “You’re so sensitive,” to somebody else. Such a comment may seem innocuous enough, but in that moment, the speaker is making a judgment about how someone else should feel.
While dealing with gaslighting isn’t a universal truth for women, we all certainly know plenty of women who encounter it at work, home, or in personal relationships.

And the act of gaslighting does not simply affect women who are not quite sure of themselves. Even vocal, confident, assertive women are vulnerable to gaslighting.

Why?

Because women bare the brunt of our neurosis. It is much easier for us to place our emotional burdens on the shoulders of our wives, our female friends, our girlfriends, our female employees, our female colleagues, than for us to impose them on the shoulders of men.

It’s a whole lot easier to emotionally manipulate someone who has been conditioned by our society to accept it. We continue to burden women because they don’t refuse our burdens as easily. It’s the ultimate cowardice.

Whether gaslighting is conscious or not, it produces the same result: it renders some women emotionally mute.

These women aren’t able to clearly express to their spouses that what is said or done to them is hurtful. They can’t tell their boss that his behavior is disrespectful and prevents them from doing their best work. They can’t tell their parents that, when they are being critical, they are doing more harm than good.

When these women receive any sort of push back to their reactions, they often brush it off by saying, “Forget it, it’s okay.”
That “forget it” isn’t just about dismissing a thought, it is about self-dismissal. It’s heartbreaking.

No wonder some women are unconsciously passive aggressive when expressing anger, sadness, or frustration. For years, they have been subjected to so much gaslighting that they can no longer express themselves in a way that feels authentic to them.
They say, “I’m sorry,” before giving their opinion. In an email or text message, they place a smiley face next to a serious question or concern, thereby reducing the impact of having to express their true feelings.

You know how it looks: “You’re late :)”

These are the same women who stay in relationships they don’t belong in, who don’t follow their dreams, who withdraw from the kind of life they want to live.

Since I have embarked on this feminist self-exploration in my life and in the lives of the women I know, this concept of women as “crazy” has really emerged as a major issue in society at large and an equally major frustration for the women in my life, in general.
From the way women are portrayed on reality shows, to how we condition boys and girls to see women, we have come to accept the idea that women are unbalanced, irrational individuals, especially in times of anger and frustration.

Just the other day, on a flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles, a flight attendant who had come to recognize me from my many trips asked me what I did for a living. When I told her that I write mainly about women, she immediately laughed and asked, “Oh, about how crazy we are?”

Her gut reaction to my work made me really depressed. While she made her response in jest, her question nonetheless makes visible a pattern of sexist commentary that travels through all facets of society on how men view women, which also greatly impacts how women may view themselves.

As far as I am concerned, the epidemic of gaslighting is part of the struggle against the obstacles of inequality that women constantly face. Acts of gaslighting steal their most powerful tool: their voice. This is something we do to women every day, in many different ways.

I don’t think this idea that women are “crazy,” is based in some sort of massive conspiracy. Rather, I believe it’s connected to the slow and steady drumbeat of women being undermined and dismissed, on a daily basis. And gaslighting is one of many reasons why we are dealing with this public construction of women as “crazy.”

I recognize that I’ve been guilty of gaslighting my women friends in the past (but never my male friends—surprise, surprise). It’s shameful, but I’m glad I realized that I did it on occasion and put a stop to it.

While I take total responsibility for my actions, I do believe that I, along with many men, am a byproduct of our conditioning. It’s about the general insight our conditioning gives us into admitting fault and exposing any emotion.

When we are discouraged in our youth and early adulthood from expressing emotion, it causes many of us to remain steadfast in our refusal to express regret when we see someone in pain from our actions.

When I was writing this piece, I was reminded of one of my favorite Gloria Steinem quotes, “The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.”

So for many of us, it’s first about unlearning how to flicker those gaslights and learning how to acknowledge and understand the feelings, opinions, and positions of the women in our lives.

But isn’t the issue of gaslighting ultimately about whether we are conditioned to believe that women’s opinions don’t hold as much weight as ours? That what women have to say, what they feel, isn’t quite as legitimate?

Paula Deen's Butter Flavored Lip Balm?

2011-10-23T01:21:00.000-07:00

Gross. I'm sorry - but Butter Flavored Lip Balm??? Paula, please keep your butter in your batter.

And the slogan "Put a little South on your mouth"? Paula, the brandy was supposed to go IN the recipe, not your glass.

Am I the only one who thinks it's irresponsible of the Food Network hosts to keep pushing 'butter makes it better'? America is fat. Why keep celebrating excess and unhealthy habits?

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DIY Massage Techniques for Runners

2011-10-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

I.am.so.sore today!!! Long run, followed by lunges carrying 30 lb weights? ooooh feel the burn baby.

Thanks Fitbie for your awesome post for runners! I'm excited to try all these massages after a long run.

I wish sometimes I had a personal masseuse living in-house with me at my beckon call.... Or a man to do it for me. Either one works.

Have a great weekend! :)

Self-massage is an effective way to ease muscle tension after an intense workout. The pressure used releases knots, says Leslie Goldblatt Denunzio, a Brooklyn-based sports massage therapist. And the stroking and circular movements stimulate blood flow and flush excess waste from the muscles. "Self-massage is an important part of training that can help you prepare for, and recover from, big races," she says. Make a few slow passes over each area. If you find tender spots, gently hold the pressure for several seconds.

Sit on the floor, bend one knee, and relax that hamstring. Use both hands, fingers pointing toward each other, and make small circles working down from the top of the hamstring to the base. Repeat on the opposite leg.

Sit in a chair and place your forearm at the crease of your thigh and hip. Lean forward, press into leg, and slowly glide forearm into muscle, working toward the knee. (You can also try this using both fists.) Repeat on the opposite side.

Place one foot on a chair. Glide the heel of one hand up the muscle. Next, glide both fists up from ankle to knee. After a few passes, squeeze the calf with your thumbs, and then make small circles. Repeat on the opposite leg.

Place a small bounce ball under one heel. Stand and sink your body weight onto the ball. Slowly roll the ball from the heel to the base of the toes, spreading toes wide when the ball passes near. Repeat on the opposite foot.

See you TONIGHT at the 1st Annual Shine Event !

2011-10-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

From Ashley's blog The Shine Project. I'll be there tonight, will YOU?

....it's about them.

Today is the 1st Annual Shine Event.

7-9 @ Ocotillo Country Club in Chandler, AZ. If you live in Arizona, please come help us raise college scholarship money for students at Cesar Chavez High School. Amazing silent auction items/raffle prizes from the AZ Diamondbacks, a stay in Mexico, great entertainment packages, and so much more.

And the best part is that students from Cesar Chavez are putting on a program and speaking. Let's show them some love.

I. Am. SO. Excited.

If you live across the country and would still like to be involved, we're having a huge online raffle right now! It closes tomorrow night at midnight. By a ticket for only $1, and be entered to win over $500 worth of prizes. Every dollar helps! Click HERE for more info and to see the prizes!

Litre of Light

2011-10-20T09:54:00.000-07:00

This video made me so grateful for my life and all the comforts afforded to me as a citizen of the United States of America. I am so grateful for electricity. For light.

I sit here at my desk, bright computer screen, air conditioning, a cell phone to my left, scrambled eggs to my right, lights blazing overhead, a TV on in the other room. These luxuries (and they really ARE luxuries) are things I take for granted. Giving back to a sustainable project like Litre of Light is a simple step I think I'll take to help me remember how much I really do have.

Check out the Litre of Light project. A simple initiative in the Philippines is bringing a bit of brightness into the lives of the country's poorest people.The technology involved is just a plastic bottle filled with water.It's an environmentally-friendly alternative to an electric light bulb, and it's virtually free.

8 Quotes from Colin Powell on Leadership - what an AMAZING mind

2011-10-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

A Leadership Primer

by Orin Harari

LESSON ONE

"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off."

Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It's inevitable if you're honorable. Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: You'll avoid the tough decisions, you'll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted, and you'll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential performance because some people might get upset. Ironically, by procrastinating on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating everyone equally "nicely" regardless of their contributions, you'll simply ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization.

LESSON TWO

"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."

If this were a litmus test, the majority of CEOs would fail. One, they build so many barriers to upward communication that the very idea of someone lower in the hierarchy looking up to the leader for help is ludicrous. Two, the corporate culture they foster often defines asking for help as weakness or failure, so people cover up their gaps, and the organization suffers accordingly. Real leaders make themselves accessible and available. They show concern for the efforts and challenges faced by underlings—even as they demand high standards. Accordingly, they are more likely to create an environment where problem analysis replaces blame.

LESSON THREE

"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites. Experts often possess more data than judgment. Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world."

Small companies and start-ups don't have the time for analytically detached experts. They don't have the money to subsidize lofty elite, either. The president answers the phone and drives the truck when necessary; everyone on the payroll visibly produces and contributes to bottom-line results or they're history. But as companies get bigger, they often forget who "brought them to the dance": things like all-hands involvement, egalitarianism, informality, market intimacy, daring, risk, speed, agility. Policies that emanate from ivory towers often have an adverse impact on the people out in the field who are fighting the wars or bringing in the revenues. Real leaders are vigilant—and combative—in the face of these trends.

LESSON FOUR

"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard."

Learn from the pros, observe them, seek them out as mentors and partners. But remember that even the pros may have leveled out in terms of their learning and skills. Sometimes even the pros can become complacent and lazy. Leadership does not emerge from blind obedience to anyone. Xerox's Barry Rand was right on target when he warned his people that if you have a yes-man working for you, one of you is redundant. Good leadership encourages everyone's evolution.

LESSON FIVE

"Never neglect details. When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted the leader must be doubly vigilant."

Strategy equals execution. All the great ideas and visions in the world are worthless if they can't be implemented rapidly and efficiently. Good leaders delegate and empower others liberally, but they pay attention to details, every day. (Think about supreme athletic coaches like Jimmy Johnson, Pat Riley and Tony La Russa). Bad ones—even those who fancy themselves as progressive "visionaries"—think they're somehow "above" operational details. Paradoxically, good leaders understand something else: An obsessive routine in carrying out the details begets conformity and complacency, which in turn dulls everyone's mind. That is why even as they pay attention to details, they continually encourage people to challenge the process. They implicitly understand the sentiment of CEO-leaders like Quad/Graphic's Harry Quadracchi, Oticon's Lars Kolind and the late Bill McGowan of MCI, who all independently asserted that the job of a leader is not to be the chief organizer, but the chief dis-organizer.

LESSON SIX

"You don't know what you can get away with until you try."

You know the expression "it's easier to get forgiveness than permission?" Well, it's true. Good leaders don't wait for official blessing to try things out. They're prudent, not reckless. But they also realize a fact of life in most organizations: If you ask enough people for permission, you'll inevitably come up against someone who believes his job is to say "no." So the moral is, don't ask. I'm serious. In my own research with colleague Linda Mukai, we found that less effective middle managers endorsed the sentiment, "If I haven't explicitly been told 'yes,' I can't do it," whereas the good ones believed "If I haven't explicitly been told 'no,' I can." There's a world of difference between these two points of view.

LESSON SEVEN

"Keep looking below surface appearances. Don't shrink from doing so (just) because you might not like what you find."

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared. It's an excuse for inaction, a call to non-arms. It's a mindset that assumes (or hopes) that today's realities will continue tomorrow in a tidy, linear and predictable fashion. Pure fantasy. In this sort of culture, you won't find people who proactively take steps to solve problems as they emerge. Here's a little tip: Don't invest in these companies.

LESSON EIGHT

"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything. Plans don't accomplish anything, either. Theories of management don't much matter. Endeavors succeed or fail because of the people involved. Only by attracting the best people will you accomplish great deeds."

In a brain-based economy, your best assets are people. We've heard this expression so often that it's become trite. But how many leaders really "walk the talk" with this stuff? Too often, people are assumed to be empty chess pieces to be moved around by grand viziers, which may explain why so many top managers immerse their calendar time in deal-making, restructuring and the latest management fad. How many immerse themselves in the goal of creating an environment where the best, the brightest, the most creative are attracted, retained and-most importantly-unleashed?