A Series Of Fortunate Events

Ok, so my job doesn't suck. Sorry, I just had to take this picture since I was supposed to be on US Airways on a 9 hour flight from Portland, Maine to Phoenix, AZ. But, this was my ride instead..... I need to back up about 24 hours.....

We were in London, flying home to Scottsdale. We had a scheduled stop in Bangor, Maine to take on more fuel. Just as we began our descent towards land, all of the cockpit controls went haywire. The pilots were no longer able to tell which was was up, and which way was down. They lost their computerized course, the instrument which reads the horizon etc..... I was in the back of the airplane (see above picture), and really didn't know what was going on... They just looked a little busier than normal.

Then I hear the "seatbelt sign ding" chime on and off like 4 times in a row. I thought the pilots were just being silly and trying to get my attention. I looked up to the cockpit and waved.... They frantically told me to come up there. So, I ran up, and they told me to get a book of charts out of the front closet. All of the in-air routes have a back up paper map in case something like this occurs, and the computerized route is unavailable. So, I got the book of "maps" for them.... Sat down, and still didn't really know what was going on. 10 minutes later, and after a pretty hard and fast landing, the airplane safely comes to a stop in Portland, Maine.... not Bangor.

I go up front and the pilots proceed to explain that we were
a) low on fuel
b) had no cockpit controls
c) Bangor had weather that wouldn't let us land
d) hoping we could make it to Portland without having to ditch in the water or on some highway

I was in shock, but strangely, not really bothered. I don't know why.....

Just happens that at this airport, there were Gulfstream mechanics nearby, who came right over and got right to work on our airplane.

Because we didn't know when the airplane would be fixed, they bought me a commercial plane ticket home that would be leaving the next morning at 8am. UGGGHHH. I hate flying. Commercial that is. It scheeves me out.

Later that evening, we get a call from the mechanics. All is fixed. Parts have been replaced. We can leave for Scottsdale in the morning.

Halleluliah for speedy mechanics. They saved me from 9 hours of crowds, germs, middle seat passengers who need seatbelt extenders, the TSA, 4 oz. or less, quart sized ziplocs, $9 turkey sandwiches and dirty airplane ice in my drinks.

Thank You. (standing ovation).