I See You Staring, and Yes, You're Creepy.
The ever-present creepy business traveler man.... He lurks in the shadows of the paisley printed executive lounge, boring holes in the side of my face with his obvious stares. Why must he sit one table away from me when the entire lounge is free and open? When he gets up to refill his orange juice glass and grab his 4th pastry, must he make awkward comments about the weather or the fantastic scrambled egg whites? Homeboy in his 44" XX-Large belt hasn't touched an egg white in his life.
I simply want to eat my freshly cut fruit and smoked salmon in peace. The freedom to sip to my green tea, and listen to Al Roker spiritedly inform me of the weather in 'my neck of the woods'. I don't want to answer creepy business man's early morning investigative questionnaire. I don't care that his neighbor's second cousin twice removed lived in Arizona for 2 months when she was 12. I don't need to know of his heart wrenching decision to have his dog put down. I certainly don't need to hear about his recent divorce, and his love of bachelorhood.
I'll make a plea on behalf of all women who travel. I'll cry out to all men pretending to work at laptops in executive lounges all around the world. Stop checking out the woman 2 tables away. She knows you're doing it. She just wants to eat her breakfast, and get out of there. She's trying to listen to the morning news, sip her tea, and be on her way. So creepy business man, close your laptop, get up from your chair, and move an appropriate distance away. No, this does not mean seated across from her. Repositioning to the basement might be a little more comfortable for all of us. Unless a plate full of egg whites in your lap would get the point across...After all, you couldn't stop raving about them earlier...
Thank you sirs, and good luck to my fellow executive lounge Princesses.
I simply want to eat my freshly cut fruit and smoked salmon in peace. The freedom to sip to my green tea, and listen to Al Roker spiritedly inform me of the weather in 'my neck of the woods'. I don't want to answer creepy business man's early morning investigative questionnaire. I don't care that his neighbor's second cousin twice removed lived in Arizona for 2 months when she was 12. I don't need to know of his heart wrenching decision to have his dog put down. I certainly don't need to hear about his recent divorce, and his love of bachelorhood.
I'll make a plea on behalf of all women who travel. I'll cry out to all men pretending to work at laptops in executive lounges all around the world. Stop checking out the woman 2 tables away. She knows you're doing it. She just wants to eat her breakfast, and get out of there. She's trying to listen to the morning news, sip her tea, and be on her way. So creepy business man, close your laptop, get up from your chair, and move an appropriate distance away. No, this does not mean seated across from her. Repositioning to the basement might be a little more comfortable for all of us. Unless a plate full of egg whites in your lap would get the point across...After all, you couldn't stop raving about them earlier...
Thank you sirs, and good luck to my fellow executive lounge Princesses.
Comments
If the signs could speak I'm sure they'd say, "Don't even think about it bozo....put your camera back in the car and git."
The next time I come across one of these signs I'll be sure to swipe it and send it to you. You can adorn it with a nice sterling silver necklace and wear it around your neck when you simply want to enjoy your eggwhite/spinach breakfast or savor your sushi lunches. Just think how easier life will be. It'll ease the tension for everyone.
Love,
your dad