How to Live Like a Lady: Talk the Talk - Part One
Chapter 1: Talk the Talk - Introductions
Is Formal too Formal?
The simple answer is no. When you're introducing yourself to someone for the first time, always take the formal route, and call them by their title and surname, for example "Mrs. Jones," until they suggest otherwise. In this day and age, a casual approach is most common and you probably won't be expected to address someone so formally for long, but the older generations do appreciate it, and would rather invite you to call them by their first name than have you assume from the start that it's acceptable. This especially is true in America and in Europe, where anyone who is your senior in age or authority should be referred to as Mr., Mrs., or any other appropriate title, such as Professor or Doctor.
Making the First Move
Now we have that cleared up, on to the introduction itself. There's nothing wrong with being a little bold and introducing yourself first. With that winning smile again, introduce yourself using your name, and when they give theirs, use it straight away in conversation: "Mrs. Jones, it's such a pleasure to meet you." Saying someone's name out loud as soon as you've heard it is a great trick to help you remember it in the future. Try to ingrain that name into your memory to avoid hiccups down the line.
Oops! I forgot their name!
First rule: Don't panic. Getting more flustered never helps. If you can casually and discretely ask a third person nearby to remind you of the name you've forgotten, or take the bold route and come clean by saying, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've managed to forget your name." You're not the first person in the world to have drawn a blank and it's far better to ask for a memory jog than to dwell on it for too long - or worse, allow the conversation to go on for minutes while you are searching your memory banks for the person's name. The situation can become excruciating if you then need to introduce another friend to this person whose name you've quite forgotten. The best idea is to ask for the reminder at the outset to avoid any embarrassment.
Likewise, don't let anyone stew if they seem to have forgotten your name or called you by the wrong one. Correct them the first time they get your name wrong rather than letting them repeat it. Make light of it by saying, "Actually, it's Katherine. Don't worry, I'm terrible with names too!" Admitting you often make mistakes with names will quickly put the other person at ease. Remember, it's all about making the person you are speaking with feel relaxed in your presence.
How to Introduce Others
While being friends with a social butterfly takes the pressure off you, introducing yourself to new people can be easier than standing alongside, waiting for your big moment. Wait until there's a natural break in conversation before interjecting with , "Hello, we haven't met before. I'm Katherine and I know [the host] from work/yoga/college."
If you have brought guests along it's your responsibility to introduce them to others. Create an icebreaker by mentioning something they have in common, such as "This is Sally, who also works in advertising." After highlighting their shared interest, you can slip off and do a little mingling of your own.
Is Formal too Formal?
The simple answer is no. When you're introducing yourself to someone for the first time, always take the formal route, and call them by their title and surname, for example "Mrs. Jones," until they suggest otherwise. In this day and age, a casual approach is most common and you probably won't be expected to address someone so formally for long, but the older generations do appreciate it, and would rather invite you to call them by their first name than have you assume from the start that it's acceptable. This especially is true in America and in Europe, where anyone who is your senior in age or authority should be referred to as Mr., Mrs., or any other appropriate title, such as Professor or Doctor.Making the First Move
Now we have that cleared up, on to the introduction itself. There's nothing wrong with being a little bold and introducing yourself first. With that winning smile again, introduce yourself using your name, and when they give theirs, use it straight away in conversation: "Mrs. Jones, it's such a pleasure to meet you." Saying someone's name out loud as soon as you've heard it is a great trick to help you remember it in the future. Try to ingrain that name into your memory to avoid hiccups down the line.
Oops! I forgot their name!
First rule: Don't panic. Getting more flustered never helps. If you can casually and discretely ask a third person nearby to remind you of the name you've forgotten, or take the bold route and come clean by saying, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've managed to forget your name." You're not the first person in the world to have drawn a blank and it's far better to ask for a memory jog than to dwell on it for too long - or worse, allow the conversation to go on for minutes while you are searching your memory banks for the person's name. The situation can become excruciating if you then need to introduce another friend to this person whose name you've quite forgotten. The best idea is to ask for the reminder at the outset to avoid any embarrassment.
Likewise, don't let anyone stew if they seem to have forgotten your name or called you by the wrong one. Correct them the first time they get your name wrong rather than letting them repeat it. Make light of it by saying, "Actually, it's Katherine. Don't worry, I'm terrible with names too!" Admitting you often make mistakes with names will quickly put the other person at ease. Remember, it's all about making the person you are speaking with feel relaxed in your presence.
How to Introduce Others
While being friends with a social butterfly takes the pressure off you, introducing yourself to new people can be easier than standing alongside, waiting for your big moment. Wait until there's a natural break in conversation before interjecting with , "Hello, we haven't met before. I'm Katherine and I know [the host] from work/yoga/college."
If you have brought guests along it's your responsibility to introduce them to others. Create an icebreaker by mentioning something they have in common, such as "This is Sally, who also works in advertising." After highlighting their shared interest, you can slip off and do a little mingling of your own.
Comments