welcome to the dark side

Natural hair color is a subjective term.

For the last 15 years my trips to the salon have been an ever-blonde'ing experience. I was born with a head full of dark, thick hair. That quickly turned platinum blonde, and as the years passed I went from super-blonde baby to an ash blonde child. 

As soon as my parents let me highlight my hair, I went for it with gusto. Talk about damage. I enjoyed being the blonde sister. My sister was the raven haired beauty. I was the blondie who looked like mom.

I've wanted to go back to my natural color.....for atleast the last 2 years. But I was scared! Scared, why? I have no idea. Change. Darkness. (scream) How could I be a brunette?! I'm a blonde! Everytime I went to get my hair done, I'd pep talk myself all the way there. "Just say it, Amy. Just say.....I want to dye it back to my natural color." I'd sit in the chair. She would ask what I wanted done. I would say "blonde highlights. just like usual!"   FAIL.

ok. I was REALLY blonde here. attack of the bleach.

I confide in a friend my desire to go au'naturale. I also confide in him my fear that it will "look ugly". (dramatic, I know)

His concerned, serious words exactly: "How in the world could it ever look ugly? It's the way God made you. You are beautiful."  

If that wasn't convincing enough, he then proceeded to remind me a) I'll be saving money on highlighting my hair every 2.3 minutes  b) I'll be healthier by not subjecting my scalp, hair, body to harmful chemicals  c) I'll be natural. Free. Beautiful.

I know the flash does weird things to the color, but you get the idea for now....

I may have scared myself a few times looking in the mirror at first. But I'm getting used to it. It makes my eyes look lighter, which was also a fun find.

What I've learned:  I am learning to let go of things I can't change by focusing on the small things I can change. Hair color seems a silly way to manifest it, but it's another small area of my life where I was nervous to change. I realized I was "sweating the small stuff" and just did what I wanted to do. 

Worry often gives small things a big shadow. Carpe Diem.