Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow

”Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”

Benjamin Franklin

 

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”

Winston Churchill

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”

Swedish Proverb

Another great article from Henrik at The Positivity Blog

Worries can take a stranglehold on you. They can paralyze you. They can keep you down and hold you back from doing what you deep down want to do.

Now, I don’t think you can get away from worries completely but you can certainly minimize those times both in duration and frequency. And you can stop those small worries from becoming huge trains of negativity roaring around and around in your overwhelmed mind.

Distract yourself.

I have found that distractions work pretty well when you have to wait and you have the opportunity to worry for a short period. You may for example be waiting for results on your latest exam or from your latest visit at the doctor.

Focus on the solution and take action to make it real.

Worries tend to start small but can quickly become overwhelming when you feel powerless and are stuck in inaction. So as quickly as you can start thinking about how you can solve this situation or at least make it better.

Accept that cannot control everything in your life.

The last tip was about getting a handle on the situation. However, in some cases you have no control. If you have no control for a short while then you can distract yourself as mentioned above.

But for some things in life you just have to accept that you have little control. You can perhaps influence what is happening in future or in your relationships. But trying to find some kind of control and certainty just leads to frustration.

You have in those cases simply set your expectations at an unreal level and until you adjust them to reality you will create negativity within yourself and outside of yourself. With acceptance of the things that you can’t control you will however find more of an inner peace.

Find out what you are really worrying about.

This can be sneaky.


Sit down and really think about your worries instead of letting them bully your mind. Analyze what you worried about. Think about if there may be other causes or even another root to your worries than the one you are thinking about.

Talk about it.

I find that talking about your worries with someone you trust is an excellent way to release it and to see your problem in a new light. Just having someone to listen and to ground you in reality again after your mind has gone off to irrational worry can many times just dissolve those negative thoughts and emotions.

If you find no one to talk to about your problem with then consider using a journal on your computer or on paper. Just letting it all out in some form can help you to release that pent up inner pressure and assist you in finding a new perspective and solutions.

Be here today.

It is very easy to become addicted to thinking about the past and the future. As you are thinking about what happened or possible future scenarios over and over then worries can easily take hold of you.

Because by analyzing the past and planning for the future over and over in your mind you try to gain more control over your life than you can have. Trying to gain that control and not getting it leads to frustration and worries. Also, if you have a habit of worrying then imagining the future over and over again just tends to build huge mental monsters and disaster scenarios inside of your head.

So I look at the past to see what I can learn and I plan for a while for the future. But I also accept the limits of these actions. And then I spend as much time and energy on what I can influence and control: today and now.

By being fully focused on what I am doing here today my mind does not slip away to paralyzing and painful imaginary scenarios.

If I lose my way today and slip back into the past or future and those worries I find there then I:

• I ask myself: What is the most important thing I can do right now? Then I get started or get back to working on that with mind fully focused on that task.

• I focus on what’s right in front of me. I may also just reconnect with the present moment and align my attention with it by focusing on what is right in front of me. Or around me. Or on me. I use my senses. I just look at what’s right in front of me right now. I listen to the sounds around me. I feel the fabric of my clothes and focus on how they feel. I am right here in stillness and silence and I take in the world around me.